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英国亚伯大学优质文书分享 我写了部情景喜剧投给BBC

时间:2017年12月07日 06:45   浏览:102   来源:赤峰职业技术学院


Aberystwyth University,音译阿伯里斯特威斯大学,中文译名为亚伯大学,近两年该校在 Times 上的排名上升迅速,2016 年的在 Times 排名为 79 位,2017 年排名 56 位。亚伯大学坐落在全英国最安全的地方 - 威尔士市,留学性价比高,最强的学院是国际政治学院,这也是全世界国际政治学的起源地。本文将与大家分享一篇成功申请该校国际关系学专业的优质文书。

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I have long been interested in world affairs; the interaction of its leaders, their different economies and 20th century history but had never made the connection to an interest in politics specifically until recently. An innate sense of moral justice together with a fascination for people, how they communicate and interact has seen me represent my form each and every year, become a School Council Member and finally be instrumental in creating and collating the Yearbook. I see obtaining a greater understanding of politics, not as a way of becoming a politician but to strengthen my communication skills and perception of people to use in say, speech writing, political journalism or even satirical comedy. Today ’ s constant global media presence in Politics makes it impossible not to be interested, informed or aware. My attraction in this area also inevitably draws me towards other cultures, and primarily that of my second language, French. Upon visiting France, I experienced the huge cultural difference, remarkable given the small distance between us which made me contemplate cultures miles away and all the countries I am yet to visit. It is my main aspiration to become fluent in French, as one of the most widely spoken languages in the world it will enable me to travel widely, understand and be understood and as one of the main languages of the EU & the UN it will be useful as part of my interest in Politics.

点评:申请者用一个 "but" 句成功吸引招生官,并开始讲述如何对政治产生兴趣的故事——从在校委会编年鉴开始。在第一段中,申请者对政治表现出了独特的理解:不是要成为政治家,而是对周围事物拥有政治视野,这一点可以使申请者在无数申请文书中脱颖而出。申请者紧接着谈了其第二外语法语的学习,其目的也是为了更好地与世界政治接触。申请人较强的学习能力、对政治的浓厚兴趣得到凸显。

Writing is something I love and with a late attempt at writing, a friend and I penned a sitcom and submitted it to the BBC. To get feedback at all was an accolade and their constructive criticism has been invaluable to my writing. Analysing the written word too and reading authors such as Alan Moore, whose graphic novels like; ‘ Watchmen ’ are complex, brilliant and perversely realistic. I see the written and spoken word as being a powerful contribution to Politics, without which it would be impossible to articulate a reasoned or believable argument.

点评:与众不同的是,申请者在第二段即安排了其爱好——写作,介绍自己写了部情景喜剧投给 BBC,申请者还提到了对其产生重要影响的著作。在段末,申请者自然地扯回主题——写作也是为了服务于政治学习,完美展现了申请者对政治专业的喜爱以及在政治上具有足够的文字表达能力。

I also secured placements with Evans Vettori Architects whose business is mainly public sector. Then with one of the largest commercial law firms in Great Britain, Pinsent Masons in their Outsourcing, Commercial and Technology department where I enjoyed an amazing week following the infamous ‘ Vodkat ’ case and beta testing the new ITechLaw website on behalf of one of the Partners.

As co-administrator of ‘ 911 Publishing ’ , we collated new subscription details and distributed large numbers of magazines to Porche lovers throughout the world. I was also keen to follow up on the annual advertising campaign for Derbyshire County Council Youth Purchasing Officers and much enjoyed my time with them, working with law enforcement officers and trading standards officers to stamp out illegal sales to the underage.

点评:这两段就比较牛逼啦,也是整篇文书的重点。申请者没有按惯例谈自己的学术成绩,而是谈了几段实习工作,包括在英国最大的商业律师事务所之一 Pinsent Masons 工作,参与臭名昭著的 " 伏特加案 " 判决,以及成为 911 出版社的共同管理者,为打击未成年人非法销售出力。这些使申请者关心公共政治、实践经历丰富的形象跃然纸上。

Possibly my proudest achievement has been my success on stage performing in leading roles in seven productions in a variety of genres. The ability to learn vast volumes of text together with a good tenor vocal has made this one of the most rewarding aspects of both school and social life. I am currently involved in writing, producing and performing a brand new musical, for which I was chosen from nearly one hundred hopefuls. I look forward to it coming to fruition next Easter.

点评:这段申请者主要谈了最使其感到骄傲的成就——在七部不同类型的舞台剧中担任主角。申请者对艺术的热爱展现出其无限精力和不凡的创作能力,招生官对这样的申请者简直不能更爱 !

My own personal interests include Rubik ’ s cubing, comedy, computing, socialising and film recently indulging in both French and English language films. I have been on many trips, both in and out of school to see films, theatre productions and live comedy. I find sport; chiefly football and running, fun and help relieve stress especially when playing in a team, as I have done for my whole school career.

点评:申请者在最后一段中,再次提到自己的个人兴趣,不足之处在于给人堆砌兴趣的感觉,结尾略显仓促,没有能好好总结,同时再圆回政治这一主题。

整篇文书读下来,可见申请者有很多亮点可以展示,而其也抓住了主要几点来做具体阐述,且始终围绕着政治这一主题展开。选择与申请专业最匹配且自己最满意的内容作重点描述,比千篇一律堆砌学术成绩更显得真实可信,让人眼前一亮。

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